This is a long profile just to warn everyone as it gives information about me and what i am seeking as well as giving some information about my past. i am only seeking Dominant’s with experience please.
About me
Hi everyone, my name is Isabella—or Bella, either is fine. I am 33 years old, born and raised in Glendale, AZ. I have a kitty who is an orange tabby, and he means the world to me. He is my emotional support and helps me when I really need it. His name is Kai Tenchi, and he is 3 years old.
To give you an idea of what that name means, I’ll explain. For Kai, there are two different languages with different meanings. In Scottish, Kai means Fire, and in Hawaiian it means Ocean. Then for Tenchi, it means Heaven and Earth in Japanese. I like to think that he is both an angel and a demon depending on how he is behaving, as they are opposites in a way.
Anyhoo, I have been in the lifestyle for 9 years, and while it’s not been easy, it has allowed me to discover myself and grow in a way I never knew could happen. Personality-wise, I am very friendly, cute, sweet, loving, thoughtful, very loyal, a good listener, stubborn, strong-willed, and I can be wise, silly, and romantic.
I will be doing a section dedicated to my vanilla side, then one for the different sides I have. After that, I will be talking about what I am seeking, and finally a little bit about my past. I do apologize in advance—I suddenly got a lot of creative inspiration and wrote more than I thought I would. Please read it, as it will help you learn more about me as a person and as a submissive.
Vanilla me
Hmm, there are a lot of things I would like to do, or at least think about doing. I would like to travel someday to Japan, as I am fascinated by the culture. I am curious about the festivals they have there, especially the Cherry Blossom festival, if that is what it is called. To see the cherry blossoms bloom would be a sight to behold. I am not sure about the food in Japan, as most of it is seafood, which is not something I particularly like.
Another wish of mine is to see the ocean again—to smell the *** air, feel the warm sand between my toes, and look out at what feels like an endless sea. I would love to go horseback riding along the beach, to feel the wind in my hair and have my eyes light up from happiness. Those are a couple of dreams I have. It has been a long time since I was last at a beach, and I miss it.
The other things I enjoy doing are puzzles on my phone. I like doing either jigsaw puzzles when I feel like it, or cross-stitch color-by-letter, which is my current obsession. I have been doing anywhere from 3–5 a day. I continue even when my hand starts hurting; I only stop and rest my arm once the strain becomes too much from the continuous activity.
I also like different types of food depending on my mood. I enjoy baking when I have the chance. I went to culinary school for two years and did end up dropping out, but I never lost that passion. I like seeing whoever eats my sweets light up and smile as they enjoy them. I can cook as well, as long as I have a recipe.
Some things I dislike are loud noises, as I have sensitive ears and certain frequencies genuinely hurt. Growing up, I disliked my dad playing his guitar because the sound—especially acoustic—would hurt my ears. My parents always said I was exaggerating, but it is simply the truth.
I also hate being yelled at, as it genuinely hurts my feelings and will likely make me flinch. I do not like being startled either, as it causes the same reaction and can make me let out a growl of annoyance or anger.
In a past job, I worked in a call center. At the last hour most days, everyone would yell out “Power Hour,” signaling the end of the day. Each time it happened, it startled me badly and made me very agitated, especially if I was on a call, as it disrupted my work. Because of that, I really do not like being startled.
I also hate being ignored and being abandoned. I do not like being ghosted, as that has happened a lot as well.
I think that is it. I will move on to kink and explain my different sides.
Kink me
I want to be upfront that, although I have been in the lifestyle for nine years, most of that time has been spent in toxic or unhealthy relationships where I didn’t really learn much.
Through experience, I know that I am a little, a pet (specifically a puppy), a masochist in the sense that I enjoy ***, and a submissive who enjoys the freedom of serving a Dominant. At one point in my life, I was also a slave, and I had training in that role for almost two years under my ex-Master.
Because of the trauma I experienced, I will not take on a slave role again unless I fully trust my Dominant.
My little side is still something I am learning about. I know I enjoy stuffed ***s and have quite a few of them. I recently got a new one from my real-life protector, Master Dennis, who is well known in the community. He is my protector and Papa, and he is the first person I have ever fully trusted immediately. We have a very strong bond, and I know he always has my best interests at heart.
I have a strong sense that my little side is quite young. I estimate it can feel as young as around one year old and up to around four years old, depending on my state. I think it may even be younger at times, as I have had moments in the past where I would babble to myself or chew on things without really thinking about it.
When I am in that space, I like being cuddled while doing things like color-by-number, and I enjoy showing my finished work. I am still unsure about diapers; I am curious, but it would depend on the Daddy involved. I like pacifiers because they are soothing, although I don’t usually keep them in my mouth for long and tend to spit them out. I also like chewing on things because it helps calm me. I sometimes slip into baby talk in this state because it feels more comfortable.
As for my pet side, I identify as a puppy. I am still learning about this side of myself, but I do know I am very loyal to those I choose to trust. I sometimes enjoy squeaky toys, depending on how sensitive I feel, and I like attention and will often seek it out.
I enjoy doing tricks for treats and am very motivated by rewards, especially things like steak, cookies, or crackers. I also enjoy playing fetch and bringing the toy back when called. However, I can also be mischievous—sometimes I’ll sit and look back with playful eyes, pretending not to listen just to make someone come get me. If they do, I may back away or run to avoid being caught, and if I can, I’ll hide. Once caught, I may resist giving up the toy unless I am made to submit. I can be a bit of a brat, but I am also very loving.
My masochist side I will only touch on briefly. I don’t fully know my *** tolerance yet. I can handle a fair amount, but I’m not sure of my limits. I recently attended an event where I allowed beginners to use a flogger on my upper back. I was already relaxed while an experienced person demonstrated, and when the beginners started, I stayed calm and even giggled a little, not really bothered by it. I even pouted a bit when I was told to let someone else have a turn. I know I enjoy ***, and it can easily lead to arousal for me.
My slave side is something I don’t want to go into deeply right now, as I still have difficult memories connected to it. If you want to know more, I don’t mind sharing privately in a DM.
Lastly, I do have a feral side, which I experience as a wolf. This side is protective and only comes forward when needed. If it does appear, she is cautious with others and focused entirely on keeping my human side safe. Once trust is built, she becomes more open and friendly, but she does not submit easily and will resist until she fully acknowledges her Alpha if there is one. She will fight if she needs to. I have only explored this side in roleplay, not in real life, but I would like to experience it with the right person.
I think that covers all of my sides. I will also be listing a website where all of this can be viewed more easily. I will place it at the end—if you can’t see it, let me know.
Now onto the next section.
What i am seeking
* i am seeking a Daddy, Owner and possibly an Alpha again if it’s possible. i would love to speak to someone who has knowledge and experience with BDSM.
* i want someone who is taller than me. i am 5 foot 4 with dark brown eyes and dark brown hair just to put out there.
* I want him to be older than me in his late 30’s and potentially up to mid 40’s.
* Not a requirement. I would love to find the one who i want to grow old with and possibly have kids. i am not sure if i will ever be ready for kids but i want that at least be open.
* I would prefer he does not have kids.
* If he is out of state, i would like him to potentially relocate to me. i have anxiety and i don’t know anywhere else out of Arizona. i can’t think of moving out of Arizona as my family is here.
*i want him to be patient to know that i have my insecurities and it will take a while to settle. i rather he be okay with being only with me. While i know poly is amazing or at least it could be amazing as it depends on the people in the relationship, i’m not sure if it’s for me. Maybe it is if i have a solid enough connection first.
* i want him to be okay with cats as i will not give up my baby boy for anyone as that is non-negotiable.
* Would prefer he be secure in himself as i want to have someone help me with everything i am going through and to be my rock. To help me learn how to manage myself and to have someone i can be dependent on.
* i want to find someone who will accept all of me, the good and the bad. Who will support me, not abandon me and who will have communication every day throughout the day. i work from home and can easily talk for hours unless i am absorbed on a call.
* i want someone who will be fine with my little ages as i know there are not a lot of Daddy’s out there who want someone so small.
* i want to feel safe, loved, cared for and most of all know that he will always be there. i have been ghosted a lot in the past. Recently i spoke to someone for 6 days and felt like i had a connection on Discord and he unfriended me for no reason. i felt so hurt and crushed before i was able to move on.
Now onto my past
As I said, the last 9 years have been hell and back for me. Most people I have been with hurt me in some way, some more than others and others less. It caused me to mistrust people, and I so desperately want to trust and be accepted. I have so much love to give if given a chance. I do have a funny story to tell everyone. It’s funny in the beginning and becomes sad towards the end, just to warn you.
I actually regressed years ago at a little conference in California called the West Coast Jungle Gym. I got to let out my puppy side a couple times and had a lot of fun. After, I was with my Ex Master at the time along with his little. We went to a casino and I regressed. I think I was maybe 2 years old, maybe a little younger, as I was giggling a lot. I wanted to hold hands, but they did not like to hold hands and had to deal with holding their elbows. I was sad about that. I was pointing to things a lot. I knew my adult mind was in the back. I just felt safe enough to let myself out, and it all was triggered as I chewed on a lanyard. They made sure I did not wander away and kept me close.
I gambled a little, only $20, and had fun. That was my first time doing something like that. I came out of my headspace naturally later on. I told my Ex-Master and his little how I felt, and the little nearly attached me in the McDonald’s wanting to rip my hair out and feed it to me. After that I was scared to let my little side out. It took a long time, even after I left them, to even let out my little side.
What I experienced in that relationship was the worst I have ever experienced, and I hate that with passion. I can’t change the past, but that one instance I wish I could just prevent myself from going through the ***. That relationship with the Ex-Master and the little who for the first year I was with was trying to learn to be a Domme. I was her pet. At the end of the first year I was thrown away as she wanted a male puppy and did not want me. That is why I hold a grudge and can’t seem to let go.
My Ex-Master hurt me just as much, if not more. Even after everything I have been through, I still want to hope, to love, to serve, to want to be needed and cared for. It shows how strong I truly am, as I have never just given up, even though I wanted to so many times, but deep inside of me something refused to give up.
I am still so eager to learn more about myself and who I really am, to grow into myself more and to find the one I want to be with. That is why I don’t give up and I never will. I have come close a couple times, and at one point a part of myself after leaving those 2 was missing for a long time.
Now I am here still seeking a Daddy, someone who will actually want to get to know me. The real me hidden underneath the barriers I put up to protect myself. I hope to find you soon, as I am not sure how much longer I can be by myself.
